her happiness over mine
by drizzley
Summary: sometimes you have to give up the ones you love right now for the ones you'll see in the future.


At first I had the plot ready in my head. I didn't intend for the ending to be what it is. Then I was listening to Hamilton, and, well…

I'm proud of my little twist :3

Writing Contest entry for SoulClan, Where Lost Souls Are Found!

2,785 words.

Prompt: _"I've been keeping my feelings locked up in my head, but now I can't help but to let them out."_

Also I aplogize for my failed attempts of adding in some humor at certain parts.

* * *

"Fawnkit, you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Fawnpaw. Your mentor will be Dovesong. I hope Dovesong will pass down all she knows on to you." When Fawnkit- no, Fawnpaw, heard Poppystar's announcement, she couldn't even describe how happy she felt at that moment.

"Dovesong," Poppystar called, "you are ready to take on an apprentice. You received excellent training from Reedheart, and you have shown yourself to be strong and loyal. You will be the mentor of Fawnpaw, and I expect you to pass on all you know to Fawnpaw."

Dovesong stepped forward and gave a nod. "Thank you, Poppystar. I will do my best." Fawnpaw remembered seeing Hailpaw's ceremony, and touched noses with her new mentor.

"Fawnpaw! Fawnpaw!" the Clan cheered. They're cheering for me, Fawnpaw thought, and stepped forward with pride. _I'm an apprentice now! I can't wait!_

"Congratulations." Fawnpaw turned around to see Stonepaw looking at her.

"Thanks," she said quietly, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"See you in the apprentices' den," he purred, and walked over to Jaypaw. Fawnpaw stared after her Clanmate. _Why was I acting so weird around him?_

* * *

"So, what did you think of the territory?" Nightpaw asked. Fawnpaw had just returned from her first day out of camp, she'd gotten a tour of the territory! It had been fun, especially since Honeypaw, her older sister, came with her. She had just met Nightpaw, but she seemed to be nice.

"It was cool," she meowed. "And big. Really really big."

Nightpaw laughed. "I thought you might saw that." Nightpaw flicked one of her ears, amused. "When I first went out, it was bigger than I thought the forest was. Then again, I'd never been out of camp before."

"What are you two talking about?" Honeypaw sat beside them, placing a mouse in front of her and taking a quick bite. "Sorry if I'm interrupting a conversation, I just thought I'd sit here." Honeypaw took another small bite out of the mouse.

"You haven't interrupted anything," Nightpaw purred. "Fawnpaw and I were just talking about how we thought of the territory when we first went out. Honeypaw, what was your experience?" Honeypaw flicked her tail for them to share her prey, and Nightpaw took a quick bite of the mouse.

"Me? Well," Honeypaw began, "when I first went out, I was fascinated with the colors. They were so bright and vibrant compared to the dull colors of camp, except for seeing the occasional herb, I don't think I ever saw colors quite like those."

"Really?" Fawnpaw asked. "I don't think the colors really fazed me, they were all just really plain for me."

"That's because this is new-leaf, I was apprenticed in leaf-fall, mouse-brain," Honeypaw purred, bending her head down to take another bite.

"Oh." Fawnpaw's pelt grew hot with embarrassment. She looked away from Honeypaw and Nightpaw and took a bite from the mouse.

"Honeypaw." The three apprentices looked up to see Stonepaw there. "Would you like to go hunting with me? I just figured I'd do better with a partner," he told her.

"I would love to," Honeypaw responded. "But first, sit down with us and join us. We're talking about our first times out of camp, I'm sure you'd have something interesting to share with us."

"Well…" Stonepaw looked a bit uneasy. "I think I'll pass, my experience was just like any other apprentice's."

"Oh, come on!" Nightpaw rolled her eyes. "Any 'other' apprentice would have _something_ to share. Even if it is boring, tell us anyway. I think I can survive through one boring story. Unless, of course, you just don't want to talk with us?"

"No!" Stonepaw protested, starting to look embarrassed. "I just…"

"It's fine," Honeypaw murmured. Then Honeypaw casted a glance towards Fawnpaw. "Hey, why don't we bring Fawnpaw with us? We could teach her some simply hunting techniques, it would be good for her."

"Really?" Fawnpaw gasped. "Could you? Do you think Dovesong would let you?"

"Oh please," Honeypaw purred. "Sometimes we help kits with a few fighting techniques, and nobody ever minds. But just to stay on the safe side, we'll ask her."

"Are you sure you want to bring her? Wouldn't we do better if we weren't busy trying to teach a new apprentice?" Stonepaw hissed, flicking his tail in annoyance. "I want to hunt, not teach. It's Dovesong's job to help her with hunting."

"And I'm her sister," Honeypaw snapped. "And it's my job to help her with life."

Stonepaw twitched his ears, clearly irritated. _Why is he so upset with me coming along? Am I that bad?_ "Fine," he muttered. "But don't expect me to be very helpful in teaching her."

"If you're just going to act like someone stuck thorns in your pelt, then I don't have to hunt with you," Honeypaw snapped. "You could at least pretend to be happy instead of being so mean to her."

"Let's just go hunt!" Stonepaw hissed.

* * *

Dovesong had agreed, at the exception that they wouldn't take her far from camp. _I'm going to learn some hunting moves! I bet I'll know way more than most apprentices did on their first day!_ Perhaps learning learning hunting moves on her first day even made her special! Then Honeypaw's words rang in her head. _Oh please, sometimes we help kits with a few fighting techniques!_

...Never mind.

"Are you ready to learn techniques from the most talented apprentice in existence?" Honeypaw was grinning. "What am I saying? Of course you are. You're the sister of the most talented apprentice in existence, it's in your blood."

Stonepaw snorted and rolled his eyes. "Can we just hurry up so we can end up catching something?

"Once you stop acting like you've got ants in your pelt."

"I do not!" Stonepaw hissed indignantly. "Besides, you look like a wet hedgehog!"

Fawnpaw ignored him. "Thank you for helping me, Honeypaw! What are we going to learn?" she asked, her tail flicking with excitement. _This will be so fun!_

"Well, I was thinking I could teach you how to find scent trails and how to recognize them. Actually, let's start. What can you smell?" Honeypaw asked her.

Fawnpaw pressed her nose just above the ground, and began to sniff around. Suddenly, a foul scent reached her nose. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "I can smell something awful!" she complained. "What in StarClan could smell this terrible!" _Seriously, what does this scent belong to? Whenever I ate prey they smelled just fine!_

"What do you-, oh." Honeypaw stiffened. "Stonepaw," she whispered. "Take Fawnpaw back to camp and get help."

"What? Why?" Stonepaw hissed. Then he too smelled the scent, and his tail fluffed up.

Suddenly a figure leapt out of the shadows, and Fawnpaw was knocked over by orange fur. She couldn't tell what the creature was, but it most certainly wasn't a cat. The creature slashed its sharp claws right at Honeypaw's throat. Honeypaw fell back onto the ground, bleeding, but fighting to get back up. "Just go!" Honeypaw's voice was weak.

Stonepaw's eyes flashed with fear, and he picked Fawnpaw up by the scruff.

"Honeypaw!" Fawnpaw wailed. "Stonepaw, we have to help her!"

"We'll fetch help," Stonepaw told her through her scruff. "That's as much help as we can do for her."

They skidded at a halt as they reached the camp, and Stonepaw was gasping for breath. "Fox...Honeypaw…"

"Honeypaw needs help!" Fawnpaw cried. _How will Honeypaw hold up on her own from that huge thing? I can't let her get hurt!_

"Stonepaw, did you say fox?" Dovesong asked him, frozen in place.

Stonepaw had regained his breath. "Yes you mouse-brains! We have to help her, she'll die on her own! She's already gotten a wound to her throat!" He had also seemed to have regained his grumpiness.

Poppystar stepped forward. "Where were you?"

"Not far from here, just around the river."

The FireClan leader's eyes widened. "A fox around that area…? No, Hareleap, Gorsefur, Willowfur, Reedshadow, Rosepatch, go help fight off the fox!" Poppystar ordered.

"Will Honeypaw still be okay?" Fawnpaw whispered.

"I don't know, but everything will be fine," Stonepaw murmured, sounding strangely comforting. _He just has to be nice to me the second my sister is in danger_ , doesn't he? she thought to herself. _I don't understand anything!_

* * *

The patrol Poppystar had sent had returned, and the Clan was already barreling them with their questions. Fawnkit wondered how they could handle them.

"Did you chase the fox off?"

"Is Honeypaw okay?"

"Are there more?"

"Is anyone injured?"

"Stop!" Gorsefur snapped. "Yes, we chased the fox off. We aren't sure if there are anymore, we'll have to deal with that some other time. Hareleap has a scratch near his eyes, but other than that, no injuries. And...Honeypaw…" Rosepatch and Reedshadow walked in, carrying a pale ginger body. Fawnpaw pressed her eyelids together tightly. This wasn't happening, it couldn't happen.

Honeypaw was strong. She was the strongest cat Fawnpaw knew. She was strong and brave. What kind of orange lump of fur could have….could have…

"Fawnpaw," Dovesong whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Fawnpaw didn't want to respond. She didn't want to look Dovesong in the eyes. She didn't want to hear the Clan's reaction. She didn't want to hear pity from the queens and apprentices. She didn't want anyone to do anything for her. At that moment, all she wanted to do was sit down and cry alone.

* * *

"I, Poppystar, leader of FireClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn," Poppystar meowed, performing the ceremony. Stonepaw looked all too excited to become a warrior. It's his turn, she thought to herself. And one that it'll be mine.

"Stonepaw," she called forward. "Do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do," Stonepaw breathed.

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Stonepaw, from this moment you will be known as Stonetail. StarClan honors your bravery and courage, and we welcome you as a full warrior of FireClan."

"Stonetail! Stonetail!" Fawnpaw joined in on the cheering.

Stonetail had his held held eye, and padded over to her. "I'm a warrior now," he purred. "Imagine that."

"Lucky you, I still have three moons to go! I don't think I'll survive. In case I do die, do you promise to bury a stick along with me so my soul can trip on it constantly?"

"This is the strangest promise I've ever made and most likely the strangest I ever will make, but I see no reason to refuse."

Ever since Honeypaw...passed away, Stonetail had become awfully nice to Fawnpaw, and had helped her out a lot. They were fairly close, perhaps even friends. Well, that was in her mind. She had absolutely no clue about what Stonetail thought of anything. _Then again, why would I really want to?_

"Good, that means I can successfully have the most unique burial in the forest," she purred. "There's only one way that it won't work."

"And how is that?"

"If I outlive you. Now that I think about it, it probably won't happen. I'm not sure if your soul can bury my body along with a stick."

"You won't outlive me if I kill you." Stonetail grinned.

"Not if I kill you first!" she protested, grinning as well.

"Then let's make a bet. Whoever outlives the other gets to brag about it in StarClan, deal?"

"Not the best deal I've ever made, but I'll take it."

* * *

"Fawnstep! Fawnstep!" The Clan was cheering for her, and she liked it. She didn't feel anything like excitement or that feeling where you're at the top of the forest. She just felt slightly proud of herself for making it this far, not everyone gets to live to their warrior days, she was lucky. _Luckier than Honeypaw…_

"Congratulations, though, you still look like a kit," Stonetail purred.

"I'd rather look like a kit than a rogue, look at your fur! It's all messed up, I wonder what you've been up to."

"Nothing," he muttered. "My fur is just messy, that's the way it is. It's nothing, although, your inability to age might be a problem. I don't want to share a den with a kit, that's just weird. What will the other Clans think when Poppystar announces a kit as a warrior? They'll think she's gone mad, we might just have to demote you to Fawnkit."

"And what will they think when they see Poppystar enter in with a rogue? FireClan has never let in any outsiders in for as long as the elders have been alive, they surely won't think something is right. We'll either have to exile you or whenever other Clans visit, hide you."

Stonetail was smiling. "You're really something, aren't you?"

"I'd think that after all this time you'd know that already, but since you need me to confirm that, yes, yes I am," she responded smoothly. _I like being around him, he's actually a nice cat, unlike most other idiots in the Clan. I wonder how he feels about me, though. It'd be nice if he could reveal some emotion in his eyes._

Wait just one second. Did she….

Like him?

 _...Eh._

"I should probably offer to join the sunhigh patrol, I'll see you later, Fawnkit," he laughed.

"See you too, Stone! That's your _rogue_ name, right?"

"Sure, let's go with that."

* * *

A few moons had passed since she became a warrior, and she was now completely convinced that she liked Stonetail. He'd proven over and over that he was a great cat, and she saw no reason that she wouldn't be interested in him by now, it wasn't like it was weird for her to find a mate or anything. Heck, Petalwind had become a warrior less than a moon ago and she and Emberpelt were mates!

But there was one problem, she had no clue how to ask him. She wasn't even sure if he liked her. Should she wait for him to ask? Or should she-, long story short, she had no clue of what she should do.

 _Maybe I should hint that I like him, and if he likes me back, he'll ask?_ she thought. _But what if he does like me but just doesn't ask, and I assume he doesn't like me? She took in a deep breath. Why don't I just stop being a coward and ask him? The worst he can do is say no, after all._

"Hey, Fawnstep!" Stonetail called. "Would you like to go hunting with me?"

 _Nice timing._

"Sure!" she called back.

* * *

"Where should we start?" Stonetail asked. "If we go near the river I think I spotted a vole's nest somewhere around there, or if we go near WaterClan territory we might be able to find a rabbit."

"Or, before we start hunting, can I ask you something?" she asked him.

"Go ahead."

 _Time to finally tell him, I must say, I'm proud of myself._

"I like you. I've liked you for awhile now, you just always seemed like the right cat. I just want to ask you, Stonetail, do you think...Will you be my mate?" _I can't believe I've finally done it, it's finally over._

"Fawnpaw," Stonetail murmured. "Of course. I use to love Honeypaw, and I think she loved me too. But ever since she died, I think I've been crushing in you. You always just so different, I'd love to be your mate."

Suddenly his words rang through her head. _I use to love Honeypaw, and I think she loved me too_. Honeypaw had loved Stonetail? And he had loved her? Well now this would cause some possible drama, wouldn't it? In StarClan, who would he choose? And…

Fawnpaw loved Honeypaw more than life itself, she was everything to her. And if Honeypaw had loved Stonetail, she would be taking away her love from her, and she didn't want to take the chance of him choosing Fawnpaw over her. Honeypaw's heart would be broken, and...and. Fawnpaw couldn't do it, she loved Honeypaw far more than Stonetail, she wanted Honeypaw's happiness over her own.

"Honeypaw…?" she whispered. "Actually, forget everything I just said."

"Fawnpaw? Is everything okay?"

Fawnpaw slipped through the bushes, trying not to cry.

 _I'm sorry, Stonetail. But you'll be happy with Honeypaw in StarClan, we just have to wait._

* * *

 _"I know my sister like I know my own mind, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind. I love my sister more than anything in the life, I will choose her happiness over mine every time! Put what we had aside, I'm standing at her side."_


End file.
